How do we monitor what kids do?!

In my last post, I discussed the pitfalls to social media and how it is one (of many) factors our kiddos are facing that we as parents did not have to face. Stress comes at our kids in many ways, so this post will only concentrate on digital aspects. The first way to combat social media is to know about what kids are using for communication. Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, What's App, and Instagram are the ones we know about, but there are more. Xbox, Nintendo (all products with WIFI), and some apps like Roblox all have communication capabilities, but most parents are not aware of this aspect. Others like Down, Kik, Hot or Not, AfterSchool, and many others are also popular among kids. In the following reading, I will expose a few of these and provide links for you to further research on your own. I will also spend some time explaining how to protect your kids from accessing these potentially harmful apps. Once they have access to these apps, you don't have any way to track their activities. The reality of this problem is you can have their passwords and usernames, but you don't have access to ALL of their accounts. Instagram is one example of a resource they can have multiple usernames/accounts and you would/could even know. Let's get started…

Social media isn't the only beast. Kids have the ability to hide apps on their phones through spoofing apps or vaults. The examples below are just two of the apps that can hide other apps within their app. Some of these can even be protected by a passcode. The most recent one is named "HIP" Hide it Pro, be aware.

The iOS app even states it is for use by age 4+, WHAT! Apps like these can make keeping our kids safe even harder. I honestly do not yet see an application for apps like these. How do we combat these apps? Look for apps that are out of the ordinary on your kid's phones. Ask yourself, why would they need this app? 

Now, what are the apps that are the most concerning? Keep in mind most is not all social media resources have an age requirement, and that is 13 years of age. This would be your 8th-grade student, not your 5th-grade student. Students under the age of 13 have no place on social media, my opinion. Instagram or IG, Facebook, and Twitter are the ones most adults know about, and I will assume that you can research these on your own.

We will look into Omegle, Whisper, and Ask.fm. These apps are not the only ones, but in my opinion, they are the scariest for kids to be using. Let's look at Omegle first. The app is designed as a chat/video chat program/app. Once you access the program, you will be connected to another user by video or chat at random! You do not know who you will be connected with, that is scary for sure. Omegle is not the only program/app that works in the manor. I would recommend you look at learningliftoff.com for more of these apps and more detail of each one. 

Whisper is another scary app. This app allows you to connect with others, anonymously, from all over the world. Even though this is an anonymous connection, users can still track each other's location if the user does not turn off location on their device they are using. You can even choose "nearby" as an option. This option will connect you to others close to you. This app has been known as a hookup app by teens for a while. Users also can share photos and other communication in a "private chat room" if they choose to do so, no other safeguards are in place. 

The last app we will discuss has been tied to teen suicide and bullying. Ask.fm is like the others in that it is an anonymous communication app. People can ask rude or hurtful questions to an individual, and there is no way to block them. Even if a user does not connect with others, they can still connect with you and track your activities within the app. 

Know these are just a few that bother me the most and should concern you also. Now, how do we combat this issue? We can battle this by being informed. Websites like Common Sense Media are here to help. The key here is that you use a trustworthy resource, CSM is the one I would always recommend. You can also monitor what your kiddo/teen is doing on their phone. Privacy concerns are moot; student safety trumps these privacy concerns.  

For the iOS/iPhone option, I would recommend setting your student up with a kid iCloud account, no matter their age. Once this is set up, you can reset your child's device and use this new account. You then will be able to know what app they add to the device because you will have to approve all apps added, free. Or purchased. You, as the parent, will also be able to decide what apps work and don't work. You also can control the time limits and when the device will and will not work. Total big brother power here, and the child will not be able to while the device. To learn more, click the link below. 

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201084

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201304

For an Android option, you can find a lot of apps that will act as the launcher. Once these launchers are installed it will require a passcode to remove or access the UI. The problem with these apps is that your child could reset the device. You can use Family Link for both iOS and Android devices and have the same functionality and control. Use the link below to help you better understand the process.

https://families.google.com/familylink/faq/

PC monitoring is an area where I am not too knowledgeable. You could use routers like Circle by Disney to control the traffic on your WIFI connection or even Google WIFI to turn devices on and off. Placing the PC/laptop in a central location of the home so you can see what the student/kiddo/child is doing is an option. In a lot of cases, students bring devices home from school, controlling the WIFI signal is your best option. Most devices that students bring home from school have software installed that will block downloads. In this case, WIFI control at home is the best option. Use the link below for more information on this topic. 

https://www.pcmag.com/roundup/240282/the-best-parental-control-software

As stated above, the best way to keep kids safe is to be informed. Common Sense Media is an excellent website for not only dangerous programs. Along with being informative in the area of applications and sites, it can also support you in choosing games and movies for your kids.  There is a lot of bad things out there. It is our job as adults and parents to keep our kids safe from making harmful or damaging decisions. I genuinely believe we can make the world a safer place, but we have to work together and be well informed. We owe this to our kids and their future. 

Your partner in education,

Douglas Greek EdD

Kids today...

What has changed? I ask myself this daily, no joke. I have even uttered the words "when I was a kid…" which I never thought I would do, ever. The reality is when I was a kid, it was different. My dad provided everything I needed to be successful in school and after. I admired and feared my dad for this gift he gave me. I never needed nor went without support from my dad. I did not have everything, but I had what I needed, and it was enough. My mom did the best she could, but she had her own demons, and I did not fully understand that until lately. My family separated due to external factors and external influences, unfortunately, at a young age. I acted out in school and received the corporal punishment I deserved by my principal. All of this is important to say because I turned out somewhat okay despite all of this. Life was simpler when I was a kid, but somehow I knew I was blessed because I was safe (or had the perception of "safe"). I had an IEP for reading and speech. I probably had a behavior chart or two to try to modify my actions; this did not work. When we look at what is going on in a kid's life, most educators and non-educators can connect them with behaviors. This is the primary stimulus and response. I needed power, and I got it by acting out. This resulted in me going to college and eventually earning a doctorate in education, ironic for sure. 

How does this tie into education? Students today face more than we did, "back in the day." Not only are they dealing with family and friend issues but also social media influences. The conundrum falls in the area of students who have all of the supports and still act out. These students have all of the support at home with loving parents, outside tutoring support in academics, and their medical needs met when they are in need. These students should, on all accounts, be the best students with the highest academic outcomes in school and well rounded individuals, this is not always the case. The students who struggle socially will show signs of disequilibrium in their ability to fit in with "societal norms." These kids will not do the same things that other students do and will be singled out for these actions. Students who are fully supported still can show signs of abuse; this abuse comes from peers. The reality is, if a student does not fit in with peers, they may never feel welcomed or accepted. This is a painful feeling and one that is not easily fixed.

The question I am posing to you is this: how do we fix this unconnectedness that some students feel? I am not a counselor, nor do I have the answers. What I do know is that it will get better because I’m optimistic . As a student who did not fit into the norm while I was in elementary/primary school, I did find my place in this microcosm of society. You may not know how to fit in or how to cope with this unknown menace. I am not sure anyone knows for sure. There is A LOT of behavioral experts in the field of social behaviors. The reality is that there is no one way to "fix" everyone. Each person/student/kid has unique needs and, in some cases, these are not evident. Kids do not walk up to their teachers/parents/principals and state, "I am having issue _____ can you help me find a solution?" Kids don't know what they don't know. If they cannot understand how they feel nor do they know how to capture it in words. Then how do they "tell you" if not by words, you may ask? Through actions. This is a primal reaction and in reality, they are primal in everything they do and say. This is where I am at a loss. How do we respond to students with these "communication skills"? No matter how much love we give, we do not receive the same back.

This post is odd because I do not have the answers; I am looking for them. Society has a BIG issue that we have to find a solution. If we do not find a solution, this problem will go from BIG to GIGANTIC not only in our classrooms but in society as a whole. I wrote this post because we can no longer blame the environment in which our kids live. There is/are a lot of support(s) for students both at school and in most cases at home. Kids/students are our focus, but they are still struggling. What is the answer? I don't know. I will still read and research to find the best solution. I still believe we, as a society, need to get a hold of this social media giant. Students have access when they should not and the results are not good.

These are my thoughts, nothing more. 

Thank you for your time,

Doug, your partner in education