Kids today...

What has changed? I ask myself this daily, no joke. I have even uttered the words "when I was a kid…" which I never thought I would do, ever. The reality is when I was a kid, it was different. My dad provided everything I needed to be successful in school and after. I admired and feared my dad for this gift he gave me. I never needed nor went without support from my dad. I did not have everything, but I had what I needed, and it was enough. My mom did the best she could, but she had her own demons, and I did not fully understand that until lately. My family separated due to external factors and external influences, unfortunately, at a young age. I acted out in school and received the corporal punishment I deserved by my principal. All of this is important to say because I turned out somewhat okay despite all of this. Life was simpler when I was a kid, but somehow I knew I was blessed because I was safe (or had the perception of "safe"). I had an IEP for reading and speech. I probably had a behavior chart or two to try to modify my actions; this did not work. When we look at what is going on in a kid's life, most educators and non-educators can connect them with behaviors. This is the primary stimulus and response. I needed power, and I got it by acting out. This resulted in me going to college and eventually earning a doctorate in education, ironic for sure. 

How does this tie into education? Students today face more than we did, "back in the day." Not only are they dealing with family and friend issues but also social media influences. The conundrum falls in the area of students who have all of the supports and still act out. These students have all of the support at home with loving parents, outside tutoring support in academics, and their medical needs met when they are in need. These students should, on all accounts, be the best students with the highest academic outcomes in school and well rounded individuals, this is not always the case. The students who struggle socially will show signs of disequilibrium in their ability to fit in with "societal norms." These kids will not do the same things that other students do and will be singled out for these actions. Students who are fully supported still can show signs of abuse; this abuse comes from peers. The reality is, if a student does not fit in with peers, they may never feel welcomed or accepted. This is a painful feeling and one that is not easily fixed.

The question I am posing to you is this: how do we fix this unconnectedness that some students feel? I am not a counselor, nor do I have the answers. What I do know is that it will get better because I’m optimistic . As a student who did not fit into the norm while I was in elementary/primary school, I did find my place in this microcosm of society. You may not know how to fit in or how to cope with this unknown menace. I am not sure anyone knows for sure. There is A LOT of behavioral experts in the field of social behaviors. The reality is that there is no one way to "fix" everyone. Each person/student/kid has unique needs and, in some cases, these are not evident. Kids do not walk up to their teachers/parents/principals and state, "I am having issue _____ can you help me find a solution?" Kids don't know what they don't know. If they cannot understand how they feel nor do they know how to capture it in words. Then how do they "tell you" if not by words, you may ask? Through actions. This is a primal reaction and in reality, they are primal in everything they do and say. This is where I am at a loss. How do we respond to students with these "communication skills"? No matter how much love we give, we do not receive the same back.

This post is odd because I do not have the answers; I am looking for them. Society has a BIG issue that we have to find a solution. If we do not find a solution, this problem will go from BIG to GIGANTIC not only in our classrooms but in society as a whole. I wrote this post because we can no longer blame the environment in which our kids live. There is/are a lot of support(s) for students both at school and in most cases at home. Kids/students are our focus, but they are still struggling. What is the answer? I don't know. I will still read and research to find the best solution. I still believe we, as a society, need to get a hold of this social media giant. Students have access when they should not and the results are not good.

These are my thoughts, nothing more. 

Thank you for your time,

Doug, your partner in education